To This Day…
To this day
He was still just a kid
He thought that drugs and violence
were the definitions of love
and his parents never tried to stop it
and the drugs were his favorite
they let him keep doing them.
It was a big deal
One day
Before he realized drugs are not designed to keep you happy
He found someone who would give him more
He had bruises from the neck down
He didn’t want to tell his parents about the abuse
because he thought he had it all figured out
he didn’t have any doubt
A few weeks later his mother noticed bruising on his wrists
it was time for an intervention
He sat down with mom and pop
they asked him lots of questions
about the new boyfriend
Every word out of his mouth was a lie
as far as he was concerned they didn’t need to hear it
Life was good he supported his habit
He told his parents, “I’m okay.”
The abuse got worse
but he got more drugs
News spread about his habit
one night he couldn’t take all of the ridicule
He decided to swallow a bunch of pills
but it didn’t work
He went to school
everybody called him
Junkie.
To this day
He never popped another pill again.
He wasn’t the only kid
who grew up this way
surrounded by people who used to say it’d be okay
although it would never be okay
we were called every name in the book
without a second look
without the simple idea that it may affect us
that it might defect us
that we could never be good enough to uphold
the underlying standards of society
we weren’t thin enough
pretty enough
normal enough to belong
She tried
She was eleven years old
her first day of middle school
when she got called fat
she would sit in the back of the class
so she didn’t have to be told she was blocking the view
but these classrooms were like a battlefield
where she found herself hiding day after day
she sat in the bathroom for lunch
because the cafeteria was a brothel
there she’d have to practice being deaf
or learn to live with their cruel words
in seventh grade they called her
hippopotamus
To this day
despite her loving family
she didn’t think she was worth it
because of her scars
that take up her whole left forearm
kids asked her why she wouldn’t just kill herself
they wondered why she couldn’t just do the job right
and they’ll never understand
that she’s trying her hardest to be beautiful
they don’t realize they did this
He
was a separated home
he had to make it on his own
parents divorced
but not because of him
his father was a cheater
mother did the best she could
eight years old when they started
jumping from state to state
he was never stable
thirteen taking care of two children
when he was still a child himself
mother worked
he grew up fast
mother couldn’t afford a home
he jumped hotel to hotel
struggle after struggle
he wanted to run away
but he couldn’t leave his brothers
in eleventh grade they called him
Goodwill
To this day
he is called a failure
he couldn’t graduate highschool
he had other responsibilities
his girlfriend says he’s strong
but inside he feels weak
he didn’t understand
that it was okay to break
he tried to stand tall
in front of them all
they weren’t the only kids who grew up this way
to this day
kids are still being called all sorts of things
the most popular were
hey whore
hey freak
hey cutter
it’s like every school has it’s own set
of names
updated everyday
we tried that reverse psychology
we tried saying sticks and stones may break our bones
but words will never hurt us
it’s impossible to turn around
to make it okay
to show that cruelty is not okay
To this day
we are all just lost
we all walk down the boulevard of broken dreams
we all look at the leftover debris
they are us
all of us fallen angels from the seed
if you can’t see the greatness in yourself
get a better smartphone
stare a little harder
dig a little deeper
because there is something inside of us all
it kept us going
we kept growing
we showed our scars
we ignored the names
and built a life without them
They didn’t belong but they didn’t care
you have to believe that you are special
why else would we be here after all of this time?
we grew up learning to suck it up
we have fought
we have conquered
of course it hurts
of course it pains us
but our lives are not over
they will continue to go on
we will continue to grow
we will become who we want to be
with or without the pain.
How on earth do u afford everything u do, ur in college lmao
